Amenities Enthusiast Gifts

'Office amenities' dangled by 'Leasing agents'

Realty Porn

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I didn't spark joy."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"...then finally, I got serious and started a band."

"That shirt is so last year."

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

Happy Retirement

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

Like most billionaires, Hugh Andrews the third prefers to bowl with crystal pins.

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

"Port outbound, starboard home."

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"Would it still be considered a weekend getaway if we never go back?"

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

'Honey, I'm home.'

"We’d like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand for a handbag."

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

Living together, couple in love.

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

"We scarf. We bracelet. We earring. We brooch. In brief, ladies, we accessorize."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!