Amateur Royalty Pillows

Bachelor pad.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

"She wishes to range free!"

'How about a game of cards?'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'I screwed up royally!'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'