Amateur Royalty Gifts

Bachelor pad.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

"She wishes to range free!"

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

Czarcasm

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'I screwed up royally!'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'