Amateur Lawyer Gifts

A householder is entitled to remove any object that encroaches on his property - but it must be returned to the rightful owner.

"...I vehemently deny all of the allegations against me..."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Violent Crime Statistics

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Lady Justice.

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

Baby's first words.

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

Two lawyers in a royal court

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

'Slap me and I'll see you in court.'

Law Offices

The Unknown Attorney: The First To Double His Billable Rate.

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Optician and the PI.

Dumping The Death Penalty

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"