Amateur Investigator T-Shirts

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

Detective and child follow footprints using magnifying glasses.

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

'If you're using this for research into your next book then you can sleep in the spare room!'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Optician and the PI.

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

"This is not good at all!"

"To be on the safe side, we need an independent prosecutor to check on the independent prosecutor."

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

"No, first you have to evolve into a man, then you can have a man-cave."

Fingerprint Show

Excessive Paperwork

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

'Not only is he a good hunting dog he's a good watch dog.'

Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.

'He's not having an affair Ma'am: He goes out at night mainly to chase cars and eat from garbage bins...'

"I opened the last Russian nesting doll, and there's a subpoena from the Mueller probe inside."

"I love people-watching."

"Gracie, I'm getting way tired of your Jane Goodall routine!"

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

Two men converse secretively

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

"Sorry, water in my ears! What was that?...sharp?...spark?"

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

The Banana Crime