Amateur Foodie Gifts

'This isn't half bad, actually - more like four-fifths.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Too much cilantro

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

GMOs: The Next Generation

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

Thermidor Dali

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"Well-done, alright?"

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

Cat Cooking Bird.

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'