Amateur Gourmand Gifts

"So - we'll go for Bouillabaisse then, shall we?"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Too much cilantro

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"Your meal sounded nice."

"It's Chicken Mole!"

Cook in the cookery section.

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Cat Cooking Bird.

'You want to see a list of ingredients? -- Are you trying to make trouble?'

Bookworm group

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Recipes.

'The casserole didn't make it.'

'I thought too many cooks spoiled the broth.'

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"And when I get to this fancy French restaurant, will they be glad to see me?"

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

Books - 'Cooking a duck' & 'Ducking a cook'.

"At what point did my Boeuf Bourguignonne become a pejorative beef stew?"

Fly in soup, "Gutsy little bugger isn't he?"