Amateur Baker Gifts

"Oh boy! My favorite! Squirrel cake!"

'In my haste this morning, I'm afraid that I picked up the wrong piece of paper - so instead of my sermon, I'll give you the recipe for my wife's rock cake...'

'The Big Society is ALL about people like you volunteering to share the Council's workload...we thought you could start with children's services...'

"I made you a cake completely from scratch!"

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

Tension filled the tent.

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Too much cilantro

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"It's called geometry, Mum."

Cake Friday!

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

Baking

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

Granny with balanced pie chart

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

'It's all homemade.'

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

Moving in

"Your meal sounded nice."

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

You're the icing on my cupcake!

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

Husband bakes a pie

Caricature: Nigella Lawson

"My mother taught me about baking. She was a great roll model!"

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"A little under done?"

"Well-done, alright?"

Instant Gratification Cafe.

"Made with a little extra TLC – and THC for good measure."