Alumni Observers Gifts

Class reunion of money and talent.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

'In general, do the right thing.'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

'Hey everybody, I've decided to stop doing landscape drawings, and start doing caricatures of my fellow passengers.'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

Trump attempting to pull down the thinker

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

"Everyone's so nosy. They act like they want to be left along, but they're always nonchalantly eavesdropping on everyone else....some more nonchalantly than others."

'I'm sorry to say that one among you is not pulling his weight... I don't think it's necessary to name names.'

No, it does still fit! This is exactly how it fit in college.

'Whoa! We sure blew that prediction!'

"If you didn't want to feel inferior to your classmates, you shouldn't have gone to such a good school."

'I'm sure that once the 'new hire' stigma fades, they'll warm up a bit,,,'

'Professor, Professor, the slaves are, I mean, the PhD students are revolting!'

City of Round Holes welcomes you to the University of Square Pegs.

Take It From Me: Who Uses Your Bathroom Is So Not a Big Deal

'Ironically, he had vertigo.'

'Remember, your success in life will be measure by how much you donate to your Alma Mater...'

Out of work lecturer.

'They offered a compromise - it's sort of tenure, but I still have have to teach freshman English.'

"Someone must have read about me in the financial pages. My college alumni fund in contacting me twice a week."

Early Trigger Warning

'It's quite depressing really: The students have better cars than we have...'

"You'll like this place: they play old skool house."

"We're lucky the Peace Corps sent us a Princeton man."