Alternative Methods Aficionado Gifts

Cheap tattoo removal.

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?"

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

"You should consider buying."

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

'Do you know who this is, Little Spike?'

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

Cowboy Acupuncture

"My new boyfriend is free range!"

Acupressure Gauge

"If you ask me, your Christmas gift return policy is too liberal."

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."