Alternative Methods Aficionado Gifts

Cheap tattoo removal.

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?"

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

Witch Doctor

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

"You should consider buying."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

'Do you know who this is, Little Spike?'

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

Acupuncture - Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

"Dude, we've struck cannabis oil! We're going to be rich!"

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

"If you ask me, your Christmas gift return policy is too liberal."

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

"My new boyfriend is free range!"

Cowboy Acupuncture