Alternative Medicines Gifts

'You have too much yin, so I'm going to give you some yang.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Self help acupuncture

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

"This tea isn't helping – I'm taking a gummy."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I'm putting you on country music."

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'I told you nothing was out of joint but your nose.'