Alternative Living Enthusiast Gifts

Real estate: 'Sure, it's a long commute, but the price is right!'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

Solar Frankenstein

Evolution.

Your Future Home.

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

"Not to mention the park view."

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'We grow our food, have solar energy, use bikes instead of car...now if we could only stop buying knickknacks!'

REPENT! Get back to nature

"What about my footprint?"

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

Ethanol and foreign oil.

Environmental Conscience

'How much did you say we'd be saving by buying a wood-burning stove?'

"We're doing our best to meet the demand for ethanol."

'It's all local, except for the fish. They're from the ocean.'

'Hybrid technology does make me feel safer.'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

"When they assured me the solar panels would look like crackers, I said "What the hell!"'

EXXON EXTINCTION

Climate Change Report

Life is simpler in the sticks.

'We can't keep living in the fast-food lane.'

COP26

"You should consider buying."

'Of course, I buy only organic foods... I like to be environmentally friendly.'

Bike powered computer.

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

'Daddy is trying out eco fuel, darling.'

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."