Alt-cosmetology Fan Gifts

"Tia Carmen, you used to work in a beauty shop, didn't you?"

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Hairstyles

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

Man on tube using dreadlock as support.

'Now where did I lay my comb?'

"Too hard?"

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

"Oh, no, not the messy hair bun!"

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

"I wonder why we're not getting any new converts."

How I feel with....liquid matte lipstick, lip gloss and chapped bare lips.

"I warned you that collagen lip injections were not without risk, Mrs. Rawlinson."

Holstein spotting kit.

Although not having a bad hare day, Paul and Toni were certainly having an unusual hare day that Easter.

"What are you going in there for?... Can't you just soak them in a glass of bleach?"

An evolutionary turning point.

Lipstick hiccups

"No?"

"You end up with the face you can afford."

'Okay then, Irene, I won't mention your face-lift and you don't say anything about my implants!'

"Ideally, I'd like a reboot to 'factory settings'."

"But enough about my teeth. Let's talk about your teeth."

'No more hairy legs for me, I'm waxing now...'

"You imbecile! I asked for a bigger 'pout'."

"And she's had her tentacles waxed."

"When I started it was just a couple of small injections twice a week."