Alphabetizing Gifts

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"I'm still pre-literate."

'A is for Arse.'

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

'After we learn the alphabet, are we going to learn how to text?'

'I did it all from memory.'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Ah, to be young and foolish again."

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup, sir - Too many censorship problems.'

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

Child lifting alphabet blocks.

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

Wildlife A-Z: 'Where the heck are zebras?'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."

Alphabet Soup: Ingredients - consonants and vowels.

Mice taking lessons.

'Even my friends have noticed it! They see you out with other letters! But they never see me, unless you're there too! I just need a little space.'

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

E-Reader

Literary rain