Alphabet Explorer Gifts

'That's pretty sneaky. You agree to learn the ABC's, and then they tell you about the other twenty three letters.'

"I'm still pre-literate."

"It's the start of something, but I'm not sure what."

Punch Initials - P

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

'The Writer'

Aardvark elementary school

"I learned my letters from eating alphabet soup."

"I don't know my numbers yet, but I do know the alphabet. So when I get to 'J' I'll come looking for you."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup, sir - Too many censorship problems.'

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

Famous Oxymorons...

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

Alphabet soup

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

"What does it all mean?"

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"'A', I'm adorable."

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

"I can't believe this! All these filthy messages on your cell phone! And so many of them! What is it? 100? 500? 1,000?"

Alphabetical Disorder