Alphabet Explorer Gifts

'That's pretty sneaky. You agree to learn the ABC's, and then they tell you about the other twenty three letters.'

"I'm still pre-literate."

(No caption.) The letter "Y", with a look of uncertainty, stands before two doors. One is labeled "Consonants" and the other is labeled "Vowels".

"It's the start of something, but I'm not sure what."

Punch Initials - P

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

'The Writer'

Aardvark elementary school

"I learned my letters from eating alphabet soup."

"I don't know my numbers yet, but I do know the alphabet. So when I get to 'J' I'll come looking for you."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup, sir - Too many censorship problems.'

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."

Famous Oxymorons...

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

Alphabet soup

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

I ONIC. F. E. That group will be very different depending upon whether a "C" or "R" joins them in that second spot.

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

Alphabetical Disorder

"I can't believe this! All these filthy messages on your cell phone! And so many of them! What is it? 100? 500? 1,000?"

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'