Aloof Thinker Gifts

Cat Philosophy

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

No Immediate Danger

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

REPENT! Get back to nature

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

"Do I look like I need rescuing?"

What are you doing up, mom? Big meeting tomorrow. Must be prepared. It's one a.m.! Go to bed, young lady. You need your sleep. It must be late. I heard my voice coming out of your mouth. Scary!

You've got to admire his spunk.

'I know these safety meetings tend to run very late, however... '

"Wake up, baby. I just realized how my insomnia is all your fault."

Cupid's converge on a bachelor.

'All right -- what did you jokers do with our pet Neanderthals?'

"We found this in your brain."

Arbitrageur in Exile

"I keep forgetting it's not Christmas,"

"If they don't leave soon, I'll have to keep ignoring them."

Look...a friendly face.

In and Outre Tray

'It depends on whether you see yourself as yesterday's man, today's man, or tomorrow's man.'

'The pharmacy didn't have any sleep masks, but they had a sale on duct tape.'

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

"My insomnia is getting worse, doctor - I can't even sleep now when there is a party political programme on television."

"On day 11, Moses runs out of Tweets."

Mask hiding face - which looks exactly the same as the mask

"Remember - every new idea requires a leap in the dark."

The toughest form of Mountain climbing is getting out of a rut.