Aloha Enthusiasts Gifts

County Health Clinic: "Urgent Care" and "Casual Care"

'I can't figure out why I keep getting wind knots.'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

Dorothy, the lion, and the scarecrow, are suddenly confronted by the tin man of Oz.

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

Shore fishing requires threading the needle.

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

'Don't worry about it Dear: You know Daddy gets grumpy if he doesn't get his daily eighteen hours of sleep...'

'This bottle of whisky will give you 'Dutch courage', it's the best I can do.'

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

Macho man body building club.

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

'We're seeking a safe tax haven for our investments.'

"Thanks Dad, but I need you to wire transfer that to the allowance account in the Caymans."

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

'I'm good. How are you?'

A Message from Your Fishing Buddies.

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

'Tilt your head a little to the right! I'm losing the Aloha Bowl!'

"When Irish eyes are smiling...sure...they steal your heart away."

'Yeah, my mum never forces me to try something new, but then again, we always eat the same thing...'

'Petting-Zoo employee: Now, that sounds like a good job...'

"Hi Honey, I'm Holmes"

Do not take fish by unathourized means.

'Nothing is biting, let's take a lunch break on that island.'

"Are you sure our off shore holdings are safe?"

"Well, I think it takes a lot away from the Old World charm!"

"Read the list of my offshore accounts again."

You hid your money offshore to avoid taxes? Not just that … Years ago, after exhaustive research, I concluded that our entire socio-economic apparatus would collapse in an orgy of chaos and food-rioting, due to the unsustainable burden of our welfare culture. I started squirreling away my profits, as soon as that communist got elected president. Biden is not a communist. I was talking about Reagan.

"My most recent position was under a house."