Alligator Wrestler Gifts

'Just thirty-five years until I can run for office!'

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

Future Wrestler

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"Young Billy play lak he on fire tonite!"

"Ted doesn't test well."

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'Me? Argue? ...No, sir! That was an excellent call.'

"How long can you stay out here before your toes wrinkle?"

"No, this is the department for obfuscation, hindrance, confusion and prevarication...you want the department for sophistry, incomprehension, fudging and evasiveness!!"

'Hey, I think that's him: alligator riding motorcycle, wearing goggles and a bandana - hold it - there's no bandana.'

'They must be trash fish!'

'Our cries of Armageddon were completely ignored, so let's just keep throwing money at the economy.'

'We're design classics son - unchanged for hundreds of millions of years...These new gimmicky things come and go.'

'The sun! The beach! Herb, didn't I tell you Florida was the answer?'

'Aggressive Environmentalism'

"Cosmetic dentistry changed my life."

"Don't be long, Dear, you don't want to miss Celebrity Hari Kari on TV."

'Goliath, there's money to be made if you take a dive.'

"Dearly beloved, weighing in at one hundred and fifty pounds!"

"Look - an urban legend."

"And he doesn't shed at all."

Hurricane Idalia

'Lunge out of the water and slap his face!? ... Oh, that's real effective, Leonard.'

Alligator Farm.

"They can shine a light at night all they want, with my sunglasses on, they won't spot me..."

A professional wrestlers prepares to

"Catch the rope Alice. Catch the rope and tie it firmly round his neck."

'No, thanks. Mom. Allie's doing fine eating hamburger.'

'I can't decide which of you gets the promotion, so fight it out.'

'Increasing resistance.'

Professional wrestlers rarely go anywhere without a lawyer.