Allergy-aware Warrior Gifts

"Dad got tired of reading those scare stories - now he sits there all day, photosynthesizes, and grows his own!"

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

Man sneezes and blows flowers out of painting.

'You see, I'm allergic to dog dander....'

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

"Aaaaa....Chooo!"

Protecting Nature

"The tests came back positive. You're H2O intolerant."

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

The Inverted Nose: Genetic engineering's answer to the sniffles.

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"You can domesticate it, but only if it's hypoallergenic."

"So, little Andy is a lawyer now!"

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

'If that's true, if you've really done it, I can say unequivocally, that is indeed...Nothing to sneeze at!'

"The gluten's back. And it's pissed."

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

"Dad's allergies kicked in during out special 'man to man' walk...so I learned all about the birds and the sneeze."

'Look - there's the first swallow of summer.'

"It's gluten/carb/fat/preservative/sugar-free. Enjoy your Celery Supreme."

'I have allergies, so before I can eat you, I need to know if you contain traces of nuts...'

Frank and Ernest's tips for travelers. When traveling makes you congested ... call rheum service. Sniff.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."