Allergy Season Warriors Gifts

"Aaaaa....Chooo!"

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"Is it just me, or is the pollen particularly bad this year?"

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"It's almost flu season! Stay indoors! Touch no one!"

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten, or extra gluten."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

Protecting Nature

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"I was NOT huffing and puffing - it's just allergies."

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"You can domesticate it, but only if it's hypoallergenic."

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

The Inverted Nose: Genetic engineering's answer to the sniffles.

"How am I? I'm just trying to et over the flu in time for allergy season."

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

'I stopped to smell the flowers. Where's my inhaler?'

'If that's true, if you've really done it, I can say unequivocally, that is indeed...Nothing to sneeze at!'

Mom! Of course I know it's spring outside! Look at all the allergy commericals!

"The gluten's back. And it's pissed."

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

Asthma cats

'Look - there's the first swallow of summer.'

"It's gluten/carb/fat/preservative/sugar-free. Enjoy your Celery Supreme."

'I have allergies, so before I can eat you, I need to know if you contain traces of nuts...'

"Y' know, a GOOD host would provide a lactose-free option!"

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."