Allergists Gifts

Sign on the door of an Allergy Ward in a hospital says: NO scratch and sniff get well cards

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Garden variety allergies."

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

"Wow, what are the chances of that four letter word being in your alphabet soup?"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'Let me guess, you're 'Sneezy'.'

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

"Puffiness and dark circles under the eyes, sniffles, trouble sleeping, rashes...you don't have allergies...you have children."

'Here's an interesting article. 'Cold or Seasonal Allergy?''

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you're going to have to move out - Prissy's allergy to your dandruff is getting worse.'

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

"His tests show he has a latex allergy."

'Are you a squirrel? I have a serious nut allergy!'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

An allergist sneezing

Man sneezes and blows flowers out of painting.

"Aaaaa....Chooo!"

"I just love the reactions I get every day when I come to work."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

"The tests show you're lactose intolerant."

"Yes, I have allergies! Hundreds! Because my crazy mother kept me in a germ-free house with no pets and I developed zero immunities!"

Oh, oh... I detect traces of tree nuts... where's my epipen?

"The good news is, the side effects of your nut allergy aren't really dangerous."

'Our new multi-syringe will take care of all your allergies in one fell swoop.'

"The good news is you only have an allergy. The bad news is you're allergic to pollen."

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

Hay fever hotline.