Allergy Expert Gifts

Edith was always allergic to flowers.

'The patient wants me to remind you 'flower-carrying well wishers' that he is being treated for severe hay fever.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Garden variety allergies."

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Wow, what are the chances of that four letter word being in your alphabet soup?"

'Let me guess, you're 'Sneezy'.'

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

'Here's an interesting article. 'Cold or Seasonal Allergy?''

"Puffiness and dark circles under the eyes, sniffles, trouble sleeping, rashes...you don't have allergies...you have children."

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

"His tests show he has a latex allergy."

'Are you a squirrel? I have a serious nut allergy!'

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

An allergist sneezing

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

"The good news is, the side effects of your nut allergy aren't really dangerous."

"The tests show you're lactose intolerant."

"I just love the reactions I get every day when I come to work."

'You Have a food allergy. Even worse it's to 'O' type!'

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

Oh, oh... I detect traces of tree nuts... where's my epipen?

"Yes, I have allergies! Hundreds! Because my crazy mother kept me in a germ-free house with no pets and I developed zero immunities!"

'Our new multi-syringe will take care of all your allergies in one fell swoop.'

"The good news is you only have an allergy. The bad news is you're allergic to pollen."

'I'm afraid you're allergic to nuts!'

'I'm so relieved Doc: It would have been a tragedy if he had had a peanut allergy...'

'Well, this is a first- you seem to be allergic to distilled water.'

"I think I'm allergic to peanuts."

Allergen Lab. That wheat protein is surrounded by antibodies, but he's not backing down! He's a real gluten for punishment!