Allergenic Jester Gifts

'No bread crumbs for me, thanks. I have allergies to wheat.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Drunk Barber

King and Jester

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Look who I got a birthday card from!!"

"OK, you're going to feel a little prick, followed by a burning desire to sue me."

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Man, I hate jester auditions."

Fishing Contest

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'My wife used too much fabric softener.'

Never poke fun.

"Med Brittle"

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

'You're the king now. It's time to put the past behind you.'

'I've become a victim of my own success. I'm starting to crack myself up.'

'It's great for reducing White Coat Hypertension.'