Allergenic Jester Gifts

'No bread crumbs for me, thanks. I have allergies to wheat.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Drunk Barber

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

King and Jester

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"OK, you're going to feel a little prick, followed by a burning desire to sue me."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Fishing Contest

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

'You're the king now. It's time to put the past behind you.'

"Med Brittle"

Never poke fun.

'My wife used too much fabric softener.'

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

'It's great for reducing White Coat Hypertension.'

'Do something else - I don't like irony.'