Allergen-free Living Pillows

I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping. Is your whipped hand-sanitizer organic? Totally. There's not a thing in it that can possibly hurt you. Can you BOIL the cookie just to be sure? That'll be extra.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

'Here's an interesting article. 'Cold or Seasonal Allergy?''

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"His tests show he has a latex allergy."

"How adorable! I'd love to have one of my own but I'm so terribly allergic."

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"The tests show you're lactose intolerant."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

"Aaaaa....Chooo!"

There are many potent chemicals on the market...but private theories are often prefered.

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

"So, little Andy is a lawyer now!"

Gluten-Free Church

"How Lovely. You brought me pollen."

"I think I'm allergic to peanuts."

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!

'Maybe she's gluten intolerant.'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

'Is the homework gluten free?'

The sounds of spring.

"Ok, tough guy, let's see if you can take the unbearable tickle of your runny nose with the facial tissues just out of reach."

"He's allergic to pond water."

"Oh, oh...I detect traces of tree nuts...where's my epipen?"

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

"I probably should have mentioned that I'm allergic to cats, Albert. . ."