Allergen-aware Sorcerers Pillows

"You're leaving?" "Yeah, today's kids are so demanding so I've decided to move to a gluten-free, lactose-free, nut-free, sugar-free neighborhood."

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

"The tests show you're lactose intolerant."

"The surgery went well. You'll be issued a 'Contains No Nuts' card upon discharge."

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

"So, little Andy is a lawyer now!"

"I think I'm allergic to peanuts."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"I'm hexting."

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

We Honor Major Credit Cards and Most Dietary Restrictions

'Maybe she's gluten intolerant.'

'Is the homework gluten free?'

"Here's Pollen!"

'Gesundheit'

Frank and Ernest's tips for travelers. When traveling makes you congested ... call rheum service. Sniff.

"I only grown them because her mother's allergic to them."

"These won't cure your allergy, but they'll send it a message."

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten or extra gluten."

Peanut Butter Warning: Contains Peanuts.

'Is this communion wafer gluten free?'

"Yeah, and what's it to you if I am gluten free?"

'Strawberries give me the hives. How about an apple?'

I'll trade you a gluten-Free Sandwich for lactose-free milk.

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

The Food Free Food Aisle

'It must have been the canapes. He should have mentioned his wheat allergy.'

'The poor guy's allergic to sand.'

"What's this? A hypoallergenic hair?"