Allergen-aware Sorcerers Pillows

"You're leaving?" "Yeah, today's kids are so demanding so I've decided to move to a gluten-free, lactose-free, nut-free, sugar-free neighborhood."

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

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"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

"The tests show you're lactose intolerant."

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

"I'm hexting."

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

We Honor Major Credit Cards and Most Dietary Restrictions

"So, little Andy is a lawyer now!"

'Maybe she's gluten intolerant.'

'Is the homework gluten free?'

"Here's Pollen!"

"I only grown them because her mother's allergic to them."

"These won't cure your allergy, but they'll send it a message."

'Gesundheit'

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten or extra gluten."

Peanut Butter Warning: Contains Peanuts.

'Is this communion wafer gluten free?'

'Strawberries give me the hives. How about an apple?'

"Yeah, and what's it to you if I am gluten free?"

I'll trade you a gluten-Free Sandwich for lactose-free milk.

'It must have been the canapes. He should have mentioned his wheat allergy.'

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

The Food Free Food Aisle

"What's this? A hypoallergenic hair?"

Allergy Clinic: Summertime and the Living is Wheezy.

"Got anything to speed up her galloping hayfever?"