Allergy Comic Lover Pillows

'Doctor, I think I have a onion allergy.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

International Women's Day

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Billy. The Kid.

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

No-Work Orange

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Window Treatment

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

The Food Chain

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."