Food Allergy Satire Lover Pillows

"Did you put garlic in the pasta?"

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

The real reason salad aids weight loss

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

'Trying to sell these things is like flogging a dead horse.'

'And the winner for best supporting animal in a frozen ready meal goes to...'

'Why do they let us see things like that?'

That's right: Not only are we 'Man's best friend', but a lot of people are allergic to cats...

"Whoa, don't hand me my pay cheque. I'm allergic to peanuts!"

'Upsize your children' - 20 to 25 % of children are obese.

Scientific research (whaling).

Mad cow disease spreads to other ranches

'It's a new, high-protein substitute for soybean paste. It's made of steak.'

'Quadruple by-product.'

"The jelly required a soupçon more texture on the custard was on the wrong side of sweet."

Fish & chips in newspaper of the year.

"And what are the two wonderful gourmet delights you're serving up today...my good man?"

"Well, I've got his test results. . . I'm afraid he's allergic to dairy!"

'Faux-horse beef for me, faux-beef horse for the wife.'

Pinocchio's Diner

Hamburgers are a way of life.

In case of emergency break bread.

'Doctor, I think I have a onion allergy.'

Bless You!

"Are you gluten free?"