Food Satire Enthusiast Pillows

'It's all contaminated with horse meat. Remove them from sale and send them to the glue factory.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Lockdown casserole

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Beef Stew.

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

Murderous Chef

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

The real reason salad aids weight loss

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'People soup again?'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

'They're not hot - my mom said they were 'chilly peppers'?'

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

"There's a little jelly or something on your chin."

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

"May your year be pear-fect."

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'