Foodie Satire Lover Pillows

'Upsize your children' - 20 to 25 % of children are obese.

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Beef Stew.

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

The real reason salad aids weight loss

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

"May your year be pear-fect."

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

'Why do they let us see things like that?'

Kebab doner card

Isaac Newton Discovers Gravlax

'And the winner for best supporting animal in a frozen ready meal goes to...'

'Trying to sell these things is like flogging a dead horse.'

Restaurant - featuring large amounts of bad food.

Mad cow disease spreads to other ranches

Scientific research (whaling).

Welcome to 'The Really Cheap Gourmet.' First, go next door and borrow a lobster...

'Eat your lunch.' 'No, it's toxic waste.'

Fish & chips in newspaper of the year.

'Quadruple by-product.'

"And what are the two wonderful gourmet delights you're serving up today...my good man?"

'What do you expect! They fed mt all -beef hotdogs, Charlie! All beef hotdogs!'

"One or two customers have complained of vomiting and diarrhoea. But don't worry, it only seems to be a twenty-four hour thing."

"The jelly required a soupçon more texture on the custard was on the wrong side of sweet."