All Occasions Gifts

Expensive greeting cards.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

Green Balloon

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

All dressed up and no place to go

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Children's Party

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

Glyndebourne

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

"I read 'Art News.'"

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Inhospitality tent.

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

"Didn't anyone tell you it was a masked ball?

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"