Alien Storytelling Gifts

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'Mayday! Mayday! I'm in the drink!'

"These are Fzjhyg's sales figures for the month? I can run crop circles round him."

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

UFO Shelter

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

"Do you think it's a form of greeting?"

UFO and snowman

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

Crop Circle: Meet the Author

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"Well....this is embarrassing..."

Now showing, the Monster from Space.

"I've been having hallucinations again, Doctor."

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

"How's it going with the human cloning?"

"I can take you to my yoga instructor, how about that...?"

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

"I'm sorry. How did I know what he would do to your cat if I let him play with it?"

'Tarzan'

'We came here because our planet ran out of fossil fuel.'

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

'It's THEM.'

"I thought you said what happens in another galazy, stays in another galaxy."