Alien Storytelling Pillows

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

'Mayday! Mayday! I'm in the drink!'

"These are Fzjhyg's sales figures for the month? I can run crop circles round him."

UFO Shelter

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Seven

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

UFO and snowman

"Do you think it's a form of greeting?"

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

Now showing, the Monster from Space.

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

We've been coming here for decades, but I still don't understand their idea that the richest person is the one with the most money.

"Well....this is embarrassing..."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

Crop Circle: Meet the Author

"I've been having hallucinations again, Doctor."

"I'm sorry. How did I know what he would do to your cat if I let him play with it?"

'Tarzan'

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

Any news on that star that might have a Dyson sphere around it? Nothing new. I mean, they discovered the star's probably been dimming ever since 1890, which could lend credence to the notion an alien race has been building a Dyson sphere. By they discovered that a few months ago. There's been nothing since then, so ... whatever. Must be nothing there. They should do a study to see how long it takes your attention span to dim. What? Why? What're we talking about?

"I can take you to my yoga instructor, how about that...?"

"How's it going with the human cloning?"

'We came here because our planet ran out of fossil fuel.'

'It's THEM.'

"Y'all look like dog people to me."