Alien Storyteller Gifts

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

'Mayday! Mayday! I'm in the drink!'

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

How Glaciations Begin

"These are Fzjhyg's sales figures for the month? I can run crop circles round him."

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

UFO Shelter

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Seven

"'Let's try the shrink ray!' you said, 'what could possibly go wrong?', you said."

"Word has it Earthlings have been using some of our people for cruel scientific experiments."

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

Alien characters on boy's wallpaper come to life to play with him.

"Shoulda brought the weed."

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

"Gee, I just wish I had the words to describe this scene to you fellows back on earth...!"

Pentagon Science Contest: 'It's already an intergalactic spaceship that was sent here over a million years ago.'

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

Now showing, the Monster from Space.

'NASA is never going to believe this!'

'They wanna know how many we seen tonight. How many you seen, Roy?' 'Well, here's quite a few tonight, Carl.'

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Well....this is embarrassing..."

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"This plaque shows nine planets, but their transmissions say their system has eight."

"I've been having hallucinations again, Doctor."

Crouching God Hidden Buddha

James Earl Jones