Alien Investigator Gifts

"Take me to your leader."

Frank Harris Blurry UFO Photography

'Sorry, no soft pliable minds to brainwash here. Try Washington.'

Roswell 1947

Eviction Notice for Earth

Stoning

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"Keep looking. She's here somewhere."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Astronaut grilling on the moon and watching his sausage fly.

"Shoulda brought the weed."

Well, our space probe is picking up definite signs of life, but I don't think it's friendly'

"Let's just get through this first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"Do you think there is life on other plants?"

"I made it from a lost space probe."

"I'm sorry. How did I know what he would do to your cat if I let him play with it?"

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

Angry priest clutching car keys storms into church, saying: 'It's about time the Holy Father made inconsiderate parking a sin.'

"Houston - we are landing in the crater now. . . on first viewing, this planet looks uninhabited. . ."

"Look! It's the same flying saucer that abducted me when I was your age."

"There was this thing in the sky, and they shot me with this dart, and I couldn't move, and they did some experiments and then they left! I swear!!"

Curiosity discovers life on Mars

'We would like to visit with you about the possibility of expanding our franchise...'

'It's THEM.'

That looks like a golf ball.

Alien spaceship gets tangled in a kite.

Alien on top of a Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence building.

Enemies of the Earth

First space criminal investigation

'And people wonder why we're searching for intelligent life.'