Alien Explorer Gifts

'We would like to visit with you about the possibility of expanding our franchise...'

"I made it from a lost space probe."

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Why One's Parents Got Married

Ok, yes, technically this is pickup and delivery.

'Who knew they were made up primarily of beer?'

It's a butt-hole Captain, but not as we know it!

'How come the Miss Universe Pageant is awlays held on Earth?'

'Your allergy tests suggest that you may have been intended for life on another planet.'

"Do you think there is life on other plants?"

S"o, how many undocumented Americans do you have on your planet?"

"I just love sci-pi movies."

"And after I gave our caveman buddy a roll of toilet paper I showed him this video on potty training. He caught on quick. Guess we can now hop in our ships and head home."

"We come from a parallel universe."

"Keep looking. She's here somewhere."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"Look what I found, dad!"

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Fifteen

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

Alien Snowmen

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"Would you relax? They never look up."

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'You caught it, you gut it!'

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

How am I abducting?