Alcohol Researcher T-Shirts

'NEW! Runs on alcohol' 'What a coincidence - so does he.'

"Good boy."

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

Father and son with matching beer crates.

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

Please help: National Endowment for the Arts

"Why is there an ad for Jay-Z in the New England Journal of Pediatric Medicine?!"

'Dear, when I die, what ever you do, don't donate my body to science.'

A lab rat stares back at a scientist.

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

"This brain drain is starting to become a major problem."

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

"I keep up with all the journals."

Alcohol Ingredients

'But our secret ingredient is large quantities of Hilberg beer.'

Big Moon Brewery and Alphonso's martinium

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

Academic Jeopardy - "Reality divided by two gives us this truth."

Department of Archaeology Floor Plan

"Your research is impressive, but you have too many original ideas to be credible..."

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

'Granted we have to do the research. And we can do some research on the research. but I don't think we should get involved in research on research on research.'