Alcohol Critic T-Shirts

'I like your 'glass-half-full' philosophy but not when it's a pint pot using a single malt whisky!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'Man...You age great!'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Don Quixote

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

Redhead

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Quick swig first?"

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

Red Wine

Wine tasting

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

I never heard of chunky style wine. I couldn't find any seedless grapes.

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Wine of the Day Club

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

Whiskey Bottle - Well it doesn't look like a paperweight to me.