Alcohol Punster Gifts

'I should warn you - all our 'non-loaded' funds are alcohol free.'

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

Mystery of the Poets

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

"Norman is an island."

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'My broker swears it's a great investment but I fear it's just another pyramid scheme.'

"My eyes feel heavy. Does that mean I'm taking in too much eye candy?"

Optometrist practical jokes

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, all we ask for Mr. Whitman is poetic justice."

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

Surfin' the web.

"Someday son, this will be all oars."

Timmy Gets Solitary.

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

Wash and Let My People Go

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'