Alcohol Enjoyment Gifts

"Frankly, he's a lousy sober."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'No ice.'

Bacchus.

Party Animals.

"Now I really hate poetry."

Cat Nip.

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

We'll have Manhattans...