Alcohol Appreciation Gifts

'To do this job effectively, you've got to be well educated I speak Heineken, Beck's, Guinness, Stella Artois, Tuborg,,,'

"Drinking? Who's drinking? I'm antioxidizing."

Wine tasters nose and wine glass become one and the same

"I'm making an effort to limit my dependence on foreign vodka.

'My health has been ruined by too much drinking to other people's health!'

Two men drinking claret

"There goes Wagstatte's retirement present"

Champagne Tasting.

Drinker.

The Piss Artist

'Another tall, cold one?'

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"Who knew that the demon-drink came with its very own demon?"

'Just think - if he was a greyhound you could have been blotto ten minutes ago!'

Floyd Landis: I would have preferred a good bottle of whiskey.

'Well, the wine is certainly easy to swallow ... and so is the wine if you're already intoxicated.'

"Hmm, this cheeky little red just stamped on my toes, poked me in the eye, kicked me in the nuts and said 'get a life, you sad git'."

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

The Angel's Share

"This is my last emergency session with you. My bartender gets back from vacation tomorrow."

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

"Oh merlot, you have betrayed me with your false promises to treasure and nourish my heart, when all along you were plotting to sent me to an early grave!"

The Wine Buff

"It's disappointing, but if that's the biggest you've got ..."

"I'm drinking far too much. Last Saturday night I overindulged and left a 500 dollar tip."

"Of course you could use a damn drink. We all could use a damn drink!"

Joe's Bar - You got a problem with that?

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Hey, Johnny—am I nuts, or does this have a hint of oak?"

"Do you have a Frequent Drinkers card?"

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

The Sunday Question - The Public House

Formerly Bad. Now Good For You.