Airport Warrior Gifts

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

The trouble with printing your own ticket.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Carefree luggage.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Airlines

37 years in the same position.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

Fight or Flight

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'