Airport Warrior Gifts

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

The trouble with printing your own ticket.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Carefree luggage.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

37 years in the same position.

Airlines

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

Fight or Flight

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.