Airport Chaos Navigator T-Shirts

"Attention passengers...all delayed flights will be delayed."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Woman with kids at husbands office.

Stubborn Horse

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

Tired Barbie

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Signs of Stress

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?"

A dream of consequence

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

Having It All

Careful

'Yes, I know. But my boarding pass clearly says 'B4'!'

'You got him here before the tardy bell, Mrs. Bates, but I'm not sure he's prepared to learn.'

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

Married Life - Poet unable to write because of noisy children