Urban Chaos Navigator T-Shirts

"I'm giving you a fine for illegal parking. I don't care if this is a traffic jam."

"Look! No hands!"

Giant slug attacks a city

Monster Clown

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

Throg, Destroyer of Worlds...and cat.

'Mostly we just block traffic.'

Parallel Parking Garage

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

Working from home.

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

"How am I rampaging?"

'Never, Ever...open the glove compartment in your car.'

Well, look who's here.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. III

"I think they want you to leave it outside."

'I have to take this call right now. Just go on across the street and text me so I'll know you made it okay.'

A "balanced diet" means balancing what's left to cook with what's clean enough to cook it in.

'See - they always find their way home.'

Wet Paint on a Pedestrian Crossing

"Can you get me to the airport in 30 minutes?"

'The only reason I bring my bike on the train is to get a seat!'

'Did it ever occur to you that this may be nothing more than a personality clash?'

'You have seven phone messages telling you to check your e-mail, and thirteen e-mails telling you to answer your phone.'

Dept. of Traffic Disruption.

The other way, Lady.

Keep honking. Honk and accelerate. In 30 feet, cut that @#$% off. Really lay on the horn this time. Cabby GPS.

Noise: An Overview.

"The job is very stressful. You'll be expected to think fast, talk loud, and parallel park in heavy traffic."

You Aren't Here!

"Go to work, I'll find out why Mom is agitated."

Bodega Umbrella

The Insanity Plea.