Commuter Chaos Navigator T-Shirts

"Relax people - only dandruff."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Stubborn Horse

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Signs of Stress

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?"

A dream of consequence

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

Having It All

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

Careful

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'

Married Life - Poet unable to write because of noisy children

Going to the pub with kids...

"Don't worry. I'll be right back. I just need a little space."

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

"The therapeutic petting zoo creatures have calmed the office, but the cleaning crew is freaking out!"