Airline Miles Gifts

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

'My mentor and role model was a frequent flyer.'

"You're advised to check a small bag which you wouldn't mind losing as a sacrifice to the Gods of Lost Luggage."

'There's a fee for each carry-on bag, including your bag of chips.'

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

'Now boarding all passengers in the middle class.'

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

'And how many frequent flyer miles do you have?'

Louis-Joseph Gay-Lussac: 'The Limoges conference...study the chemical composition of the atmosphere at high altitudes."

"But having less legroom puts you closer to your screen."

'As the plane is about to crash, we're offering passengers a complimentary drink.'

Excess Baggage: At times the cheapest ticket deals leave a lot to be desired.

I'm sorry, sir, but your luggage was deemed offensive and destroyed.

Excess Baggage: The concept of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.

"I won't know if it's a vacation till I see if they accept my miles."

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

'Hey, Pam, what do you think? I get extra air miles for using my own transportation!'

"Frankly, your kindness and understanding are only making matters worse!"

Frequent Flier Tom Walstrom, on his way to Seattle, passes his luggage on it's way to L.A.

"Sure, you're in, but it's not really heavenly until you upgrade to premium Heaven."

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

'I'm sorry, we don't have chicken or fish. However, we do have a choice of surcharges. Would you prefer fuel, technology upgrade or new labor deal?'

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."