Air Mile Collector Gifts

'My mentor and role model was a frequent flyer.'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

A child watches as a small figure parachutes out of a tiny aeroplane that has collided with his mobile.

The whole world goes green. Resulting in thousands and thousands of traffic accidents at intersections everywhere.

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

Louis-Joseph Gay-Lussac: 'The Limoges conference...study the chemical composition of the atmosphere at high altitudes."

'And how many frequent flyer miles do you have?'

"Howard may have a few miles on him, but I'm not ready for a trade-in just yet."

Waddle and Don't Waddle.

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

"Sure, you're in, but it's not really heavenly until you upgrade to premium Heaven."

'Hey, Pam, what do you think? I get extra air miles for using my own transportation!'

"I won't know if it's a vacation till I see if they accept my miles."

Frequent Flier Tom Walstrom, on his way to Seattle, passes his luggage on it's way to L.A.

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

"They’re after a younger demographic."

'Here's your problem - you need more air in your tires for better gas mileage...'

'Does this effect my Frequent Flyer Miles?'

"I suppose he only works one day a year but just think of the air miles he collects..."

"You nomads sure deduct a lot of mileage.''

Only 5000 miles on the clock!

"Book me, seat me, treat me bad."

Air miles rewards.

Skydivers recording their air miles.

"Well, the lights went read - and that's all I remember..."

The Flying Timeshare,,,starting at only 3000 miles: 'Ask me,'

Excess Baggage: These days airport frequent flyer lounges are even more crowded than the general boarding areas.

"I notice you've started accumulating miles on different airlines from me."

"Don't you know who I am?! I demand an upgrade! I'm a platinum-plus frequent fly..."

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."