Air Mile Enthusiast Gifts

'Hey, Pam, what do you think? I get extra air miles for using my own transportation!'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"How's my tripping you up?"

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

Welcome to business class. Are you a member of big business or small business?

'He's trying to figure out why airplanes get bigger while seats get smaller.'

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

'Wayne, your turn - Darren needs changing!'

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

'My mentor and role model was a frequent flyer.'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

'Yes, I know. But my boarding pass clearly says 'B4'!'

On the monitors behind the check-in desk: Arrivals/Departures/Donations

'I'd like a first class ticket to wherever my luggage went.'

"So, when we stopped serving meals, I thought, why not see this as a marketing opportunity?"

"And that one shows my frequent flier miles."

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

Man comes through luggage collection conveyor belt at the airport.

Excess Baggage: Meanwhile, back at baggage handlers university...

"That's why you're so familiar, we flew together yesterday!"

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

'There's a fee for each carry-on bag, including your bag of chips.'

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."