Airline Adventurer Gifts

"Looks like everybody brought their own lawyer."

Aeroflot, "Welcome aboard flight 451, possibly to Sverdlousk."

"Chatting or no chatting?"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

Airlines

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

Welsh airport arrivals.

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

Airport

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"Look, son, real estate."

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

Airliner

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

"Look on the GPS to see if there's any wormholes through time and space."

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

Crop duster wanted.

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"