Air Travel Junkie Gifts

"This is your captain speaking."

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

The High Line at Giza

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Leave Nothing But Footprints, Take Nothing But Selfies.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Holiday Adventures - Off the beaten path.

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Roads with a view.

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

Man biking with an enormous amount of things on his back.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"How's my tripping you up?"

'He's trying to figure out why airplanes get bigger while seats get smaller.'

Welcome to business class. Are you a member of big business or small business?

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

'Yes, I know. But my boarding pass clearly says 'B4'!'

Parts of an automobile

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

'Wayne, your turn - Darren needs changing!'

"We should just stay down here year-round."

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

On the monitors behind the check-in desk: Arrivals/Departures/Donations

'I'd like a first class ticket to wherever my luggage went.'

"And that one shows my frequent flier miles."

'Termites!'

"So, when we stopped serving meals, I thought, why not see this as a marketing opportunity?"