Air Travel Junkie Gifts

"This is your captain speaking."

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

The High Line at Giza

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Leave Nothing But Footprints, Take Nothing But Selfies.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Holiday Adventures - Off the beaten path.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Roads with a view.

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Man biking with an enormous amount of things on his back.

"How's my tripping you up?"

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

'He's trying to figure out why airplanes get bigger while seats get smaller.'

Welcome to business class. Are you a member of big business or small business?

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

'Wayne, your turn - Darren needs changing!'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

"We should just stay down here year-round."

We never fly anywhere anymore.

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

'I'm sorry, sir, but there is a 25 surcharge to use the lavatory,'

'Yes, I know. But my boarding pass clearly says 'B4'!'

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

Parts of an automobile

'I'd like a first class ticket to wherever my luggage went.'

On the monitors behind the check-in desk: Arrivals/Departures/Donations

'Termites!'

"And that one shows my frequent flier miles."