Air Travel Fanatic Gifts

"It's my first time up!"

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Fighter Jet Sneeze

'Can our software do that?'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Don't move! It's as I suspected, they're attracted to clowns!"

Birds Following Witch.

Boy pilot.

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

The First Kite

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

Airport

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

"How's my tripping you up?"

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

Waiting for the snow to arrive in Aviemore.

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

The Aerial Steam Carriage

'Steady,...not yet,...hold your positions.'

'He's trying to figure out why airplanes get bigger while seats get smaller.'

Welcome to business class. Are you a member of big business or small business?

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List